Sunday, April 01, 2007

Revenge is a dish best served from My Queen

"Wa7ed kofta law sama7t"

The Pig and Amnesiac are in the cinema watching the moving men’s underwear catalogue which is 300. Both are entranced, the Pig by the decapitation and sword action, Amnesiac by the thighs and thong-tha-thong-thong-thongssss.

The film has reached the climax of its penultimate scene: King Ridiculous Beard has finally realised that his attempt to take on Persia using a battalion of 300 men wearing thongs and capes was possibly slightly misguided, and has thus decided to make the best of a bad situation by fighting to his inevitable death in a deluge of Persian arrows and bloodied glory, thereby ensuring that his memory lives on, on

Before he expires, King Ridiculous Beard’s thoughts inevitably turn to her indoors, the missus. He is of course unaware that her Highness has had it away with the fit bloke out of Something New while her man was busy chopping Persian heads off (she did it for Sparta however, so that’s alright). He is consumed with anguished love for el madame and, arms aloft, bellows:

King Ridiculous Beard: MY LOVE!!!!!!!…MY QUEENNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Amnesiac: [whispering noisily and breathing popcorn breath all over the Pig] Howa ga3aan wala feih aih?

The Pig: [Closes eyes and adopts the expression of a man with haemorrhoid problems.]

* An eating establishment (that is, a trailer) in Mohandiseen.


N said...

LOL. imagining this is supremely fun!

Forsoothsayer said...

dude no! that jokes was him ALL OVER. i cannot allow you go catch his awful jokes disease!

besides, u know the bodies were digitally enhanced.

Con said...

I have a friend in Dublin (Colette) and she's doing part of her thesis on Egyptian blogs from a media perspective. She's also doing a piece for a radio station in Ireland about the significance of blogs in social and political commenatry in Egypt. She's coming to town and she wants to meet and talk to some of the bloggers here. Can you help her by a)giving her an overview of the scene, b) meeting her, and c) maybe introducing her to other bloggers?
Alternatively, if you squirm at the thought of the above, can you point me in the right direction and I will try to help her.

Amnesiac said...

Forsooth: That was the point, dear. If I'd leaned over and whispered some delightful Oscar Wilde type witticism I wouldn't have ruined it for him.

Con: Much as I'd like to claim the title of Hub of the Egyptian blogosphere, I'm afraid that I only know a total of roughly six Egyptian bloggers. I would be glad to meet Colette however, if only to put her in touch with more helpful people.
Will send you an email forthwith.

Will E. said...

Forsooth, you barely get jokes and your only defence is to render them unsuitable for human consumption. You need to chill some more..

Amnesiac said...

Will and Forsooth: Play nicely children, please.

The Pig said...

You totally ruined that moment for me Amnesiac.. but I'm coldly planning my revenge..

GC said...

I love My Queen's shrimp snadwich in baladi bread with hareedy sauce :)