Scene:
Amnesiac and colleague Slick Riches are in the office. Amnesiac is perfecting the art of using MSN whilst appearing to do work, a skill which requires quick-fire reactions and lightning flicking between windows abilities. Slick is slouched, smoking, and staring intensely at his computer screen, exasperated. The silence is broken only by the sound of Amnesiac eating cheese sandwiches.
Slick: Yaaaaa…the stuff I wrote late last night is all wrong…there isn’t one word without a red line underneath
Amnesiac: [considering whether she can risk opening another conversation window] Hmm…
Slick: Yan hareswed…I’ve even reversed letters
Amnesiac: [living life on the edge and opening the window] really…
Slick: What’s it called in English that illness where you reverse letters…Dos – Des…
Amnesiac: Dyslexia.
Slick: [Resolutely] Aywwwwa. Dezlaxeya
Amnesiac: La2 Dys – lex – ia
Slick: Dyslexia…dyslexia
Amnesiac: And if you suffer from dyslexia you are dyslexic.
Slick: [Mischievously] Dyslexic, dyslexic…And if you’re a girl you’re dyslexicayya?
Two minutes later
Slick: [In English, suddenly and loudly]: I AM DASLEEKSEC
Amnesiac: [Accidentally closing an MSN window in fright] YOU ARE DYSLEXIC
Slick: Ya saater…I’m even doslixec when I pronounce it
****
That afternoon. The only thing about the scene which has changed are the sandwiches, which have been eaten.
Slick: Ana met3’aaz. Met3’aaaaaaaaz. [I’m vexed. Vexeeeeed] Ta3rafy ya3ni aih met3’aaz? [Do you know what met3’aaz means?]
Amnesiac: Yes it means you are experiencing 3’eez, which means you are experiencing bedan [eggs]. You are mabdoun
Slick: La2 3’eez and bedan are not exactly the same thing…met3’aaz is more like angry, but when I’m peed off I might say 3andy bedan kebeera [I have big eggs], bedaany itfa23at [my eggs have exploded]…and so on
Amnesiac: Hmm...So when something is bedan, it’s stupid?
Slick: Yes.
Amnesiac: There’s a word for that in English: bollocks
Slick: Boollecks?
Amnesiac: No, bollocks
Slick: Bollocks
Amnesiac: But don’t say it in front of old people
Slick: Ya3ni ma2oulshi ‘ezzayak ya baba aih akhbar el bollocks 3andak?’ [Hi Dad what news of the bollocks?]
Amnesiac: No
Both return to their computer screen existences.
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7 comments:
Fun atmosphere there:)
were you chatting to me on msn? :)
What a lovely work environment :)
Well at least it's better than having someone wake you from a deep trance (mainly brought about by toxic levels of boredom) with, "Singapore, that's a city in Malaysia right?"
My GCSE business studies teacher used to say bollocks quite frequently actually. Fond school memories :)
Actually the guy sounds like a real teez.
Eventuality: I may be old fashioned but I was shocked to read that your business studies teacher said bollocks in front of you kids!
Mumbo: La2 khaales he isn't, he's very spacey and super cool. Perhaps just didn't come over here.
Yeah well he was kind of a wild spirit. Good teacher though!
lol thank you thank you for bringing those typically egyptian conversations back to me ....
mounaqashat byzanteya as we used to call them heheh ... strangely soothing in their circularity
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